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Animations: Good use of animations. I only saw a couple instances of clipping that could have been resolved. But for an 18 minute video not bad at all. Good job paying attention to feet detail, as this is where folks tend to get lazy on with feet clipping, broken ankles, and all sorts of weird stuff. 
Story Telling: Story telling is good. Nice build up, makes you want to follow what happens next and adds to the understanding the characters. Yes even for a damn Porn!!!
Models: So I thought the models were basically just ok or good enough. I know one of the models is NCM's ultra big titty model (Not my cup of tea, but too each their own), but for me I don't think it works that well when you are going the less parody route compared to NCM. I also can't get out of my head that it is just an NCM model put in a different universe. Your almost better off grabbing a model from the site and modifying her to your own taste. Also spend some time on your male models. I would take some tips from @Oz70NYC or @petrav for a good looking male model.
Extra Stuff: Good dialogue, just still debating if the robotic TTS engine helps or takes away from the whole video. I have been experimenting myself and I just do not like the vibe it gives off, but that is all my opinion. Sometimes a good caption has more impact. Overall, good use of sound FX. They matched the scene and didn't seem too over the top. I would like to see some more slaps sound FX in the future but good start.
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Episode XIII: Broken Hearts, Broken Rules
in Short Films and Movies
Posted
I am giving this 5 stars because dude..I love your story telling. I followed your work in MG and while some might say one thing or another about graphics. You make it up in how you tell and put together the story. I will say looking at your work is the one thing that made me want to start making my own videos. It is one thing to just record a bunch of models having sex....it is another thing to weave in a complex plot and story line into that. Nice work mayne!!