I want to take you back to September of last year. I was in the middle of recruitment for what would become my current job (nine months in now, which makes me breathe a little easier!) and it was during that time that I realized, the computer I had at the time wouldn't be useful for the job training I needed to undergo, so I loaned a laptop with enough power to get me through things, and after some testing, I decided to install TK17 on it just to see how it ran. After a while of putting out comics and not being happy with the visuals both Vanilla graphics and Hook4 were giving me, I was debating on whether or not I should throw in the towel. Also, I made this post about a character I had created a couple of years prior. This character has been pivotal in my growth as a content creator, and a huge motivator for me to continue exploring the world of possibilities The Klub 17 offered. I slowly started to gain some knowledge, experimenting with different addons, textures, body mods... And then, the golden ticket arrived: I was finally able to use the Extended version of Hook5, and a new world of graphic power was now at my fingertips.

Nine months have passed since then. I learned more about Hook5 thanks to the wonderful friends and community I made here on KlubExile. I became frustrated at the lack of time to work on this passion project of mine because of work, family and plain old life. During that time period, I moved out three times, including from a lifelong home after personal tragedies took some of my closest relatives from me. Life had hit me with several physical, mental and emotional blows that had me contemplating the possibility of taking my own life after some serious self-reflection about myself and the actions that brought me to the point I was back then. I had taken up a job training at one of the worst possible places for people to work on back in May, becoming so stressed out that I ended up with a serious health scare and the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. Fast forward to the present, and some issues still remain in my personal and family life that I need to work on, as well as realizing that I'm not getting any younger and that my habits will bring forth my downfall if I don't start taking my health seriously now. And also, since September of 2022, I put out so many comic books and galleries, and I'm striving to become even more prolific as long as time allows it. Then again, "more" doesn't necessarily mean "better". Which brings me to the topic of this blog:

CNC Baby, as stated in the linked blog post above as well as this one, in which I talk about the evolution of my lead female for this series, is a story that was born out of two things: First, an attempt to understand women's sexuality. Particularly, what it means to women to relinquish control and power of their bodies to their preferred sexual partner, and to try and define where the line between consensual and non-consensual acts becomes blurry. At the time of writing this blog, it is still unclear whether this will be the ultimate road I will end up going down since there's still so much more story to tell and so many characters waiting for proper development.

Second, and on a much more personal note... CNC Baby and the creation of Daniela Olivares started as a way for me to get over a person from my past who I had become obsessed with for five years. Risking relationships, opportunities for growth, and making many awful mistakes along the way as I tried to fill a void that person left in me that I just couldn't fill with anything. The aftermath of that left me in a deplorable state, and what I once thought to be a lost opportunity for love, was nothing but pure, twisted obsession over a moment we both lived and hyped up to for months before it happened. And coming to terms with that devastating realization, was one of the most painful, yet liberating things I ever had to deal with. It wasn't pretty. It painted me for how despicable and pathetic of a person I could become. It was at that point, and after several things happening in my life in the following years, that I decided I didn't want to be that person anymore. And like I stated, some things still need to be worked on. But in hindsight, I'm doing better now than I have in years. My eyes are open, and now it's up to me and only me to see my current trials through to the end.

This first issue of CNC Baby was the result of three years since I created Dani's original model up to writing the last line of dialogue for this comic book. Being a small content creator, a justified fear is that the work that means the most to you will suffer from that "tree falling in the forest" paradox. Will it make noise if no one is there to listen to it? If no one is there, can we know for sure that the tree actually fell? And most importantly: Does any of it fucking matter at all?

For today... I choose to believe it does.

I know I have a long road ahead of me. And I intend to see it to its conclusion. CNC Baby will remain a priority for TrappComics, but it won't be the only thing I will focus on. With dozens of characters to work with and more control over the game and its graphic enhancements, I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn't exploit it to its fullest in the pursuit of telling more stories of any type. I make no promises, but I'm looking at TWELVE ISSUES of CNC Baby.

Will I be able to pull it off? Nobody knows.
Will it be more issues? Less issues? Nobody knows.
What shape will the story take? Noooobody knoooooows...

But for now, here is the first issue. Thank you for reading as I've decided to randomly expose a very intimate part of myself here. CNC Baby is Live. And it will get sillier, hotter, cuter and darker than anything I have ever committed to a page. That, I can promise you.

Read CNC Baby #1 - The Desire In My Head below.

P.S. - Also, I promise that I will live to see Metalocalypse: Army of the Doomstar on release day, one way or another!